Tuesday 23 November 2010

Criticism

People can't stand criticism. From friends, classmates and colleagues (peers), that is. When you're in school, you're supposed to receive criticism from your teachers, so they are 'allowed' to give it to you. Your bosses pay you to work for them so they are allowed too, although you may not like it from time to time. But your peers, who are 'no better than you', have 'no right' to criticise you, even if all they want to do is help. (In my experience, the only 'peers' who may accept criticism from you are close family members.)


"People only tolerate criticism from people who have authority 
over them or people they pay to provide it."


People have become angry with me for providing criticism, which I have given to try and help them, and not in a way to make them feel stupid or anything. Their subsequent anger or even halt of communication with me has taught me that no matter my intentions, people just don't want to be criticised. So now I rarely criticise people, as it appears they simply can't handle it. What strikes me as odd, however, is that clients pay me to criticise them when they ask me to correct their work. When I'm done they even thank me for it. But then I am not their peer, so then it is okay. How weird is this? As if criticising peers would mean that that they are total losers and I am superior to them. No! It just means that I am better at one particular thing, or even know one particular thing that they don't - and can provide free assistance - while they will be better at other things, and can help me whenever they so desire. Consequently, any criticism to a friend or colleague must be very cautiously given, or not at all. Apparently, people generally only appreciate this assistance when they pay for it. How odd that money apparently overcomes the shame of not being as good at something as one would like...

3 comments:

  1. I don't really feel like no-one can stand criticism. What matters though, is how you bring it across. People feel ashamed when you say it like they're doing something wrong. I always say something like 'What you're doing is fine/okay/good too' or something else nice 'but maybe you could try it this way'. Maybe that's where the communication is failing? I don't know, but maybe that's the problem. Could be something else entirely though.

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  2. Well, I don't exactly say "Oh God, you're doing it all wrong, you're such a moron!!" ;)

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  3. No I know, I'm just say that máy be the problem, but I just don't know what you do say and how you say it. :P People are indeed very sensitive when it comes to criticism.

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