"No matter how close two people are, an infinite distance separates them."
"We only see two things in people: what we want to see, and what they show us."
-- Harry Morgan [Dexter]
Friday 23 September 2011
Sunday 18 September 2011
Rude awakening
Had I been dreaming? How could I not have been, when faced with such a rude and sudden awakening? It seems almost like it never happened at all.
Saturday 3 September 2011
Devils in disguise
How well can you ever truly know a person? 'Knowing someone' is merely observing someone's behaviour for an extended period of time and expecting future behaviour to be similar. And the longer we have observed someone's behaviour, the better we think we know them - the better we think we do.
But people are unpredictable, even when they don't seem to be. Suddenly they can find themselves in a situation that warrants an action not previously observed by their fellow humans. Or in a situation that doesn't warrant one, but in which they will take unpredictable action anyway. Also, people make mistakes, occasionally resulting in unpredictable behaviour.
And people can also suddenly take decisions shockingly unexpected to those around them.
Knowing people is an illusion. I could suddenly decide to kiss a man passionately and everyone who knows me will claim they had never expected it, and that they must not know me as well as they thought they did. And what to think about those people who suddenly murder innocent people and then shoot themselves? Often the people in their immediate environment will claim never to have seen it coming.
My point is, people are capable of anything. And although they do not constantly do 'strange' things, unexpected things - rather, normally they act in a stable, fairly predictable manner - they can, completely out of the blue, take unpredictable actions. Sometimes they may even take themselves by surprise.
Something that is based on expected behaviour is trust. If you say you trust a friend, you mean that you, on the basis of your friend's earlier behaviour, expect him (or her) to be there for you when you need it. But there is never a guarantee, as people are whimsical, and ultimately selfish. This makes them much more unpredictable than is commonly assumed. And this causes these shockingly unexpected, sometimes treacherous actions.
Although I hope there are limits, and there still exists something called loyalty, there are hardly any people you can ever trust completely. If someone finds himself in a tight spot, or in any situation he finds it hard to deal with, he may suddenly take to his heels, and 'save' himself, even if that means leaving a friend in need to his own devices.
Unfortunately I have experienced this time and again. Each time it was completely unexpected, and each betrayal left me hurt, and left deep scars.
So, if you can't ever really know someone, not even your partner, how can you really trust them? They could suddenly turn their back on you at the most inopportune moments...
In my view, expecting them not to do so is naïve. Accepting they will at some time probably leave you hanging would be realistic - but realism is not very much fun. As Robert Heinlein said, "A pessimist is right more often than an optimist, but an optimist has much more fun." Too bad I'm a pessimist and a realist...
But people are unpredictable, even when they don't seem to be. Suddenly they can find themselves in a situation that warrants an action not previously observed by their fellow humans. Or in a situation that doesn't warrant one, but in which they will take unpredictable action anyway. Also, people make mistakes, occasionally resulting in unpredictable behaviour.
And people can also suddenly take decisions shockingly unexpected to those around them.
Knowing people is an illusion. I could suddenly decide to kiss a man passionately and everyone who knows me will claim they had never expected it, and that they must not know me as well as they thought they did. And what to think about those people who suddenly murder innocent people and then shoot themselves? Often the people in their immediate environment will claim never to have seen it coming.
My point is, people are capable of anything. And although they do not constantly do 'strange' things, unexpected things - rather, normally they act in a stable, fairly predictable manner - they can, completely out of the blue, take unpredictable actions. Sometimes they may even take themselves by surprise.
Something that is based on expected behaviour is trust. If you say you trust a friend, you mean that you, on the basis of your friend's earlier behaviour, expect him (or her) to be there for you when you need it. But there is never a guarantee, as people are whimsical, and ultimately selfish. This makes them much more unpredictable than is commonly assumed. And this causes these shockingly unexpected, sometimes treacherous actions.
Although I hope there are limits, and there still exists something called loyalty, there are hardly any people you can ever trust completely. If someone finds himself in a tight spot, or in any situation he finds it hard to deal with, he may suddenly take to his heels, and 'save' himself, even if that means leaving a friend in need to his own devices.
Unfortunately I have experienced this time and again. Each time it was completely unexpected, and each betrayal left me hurt, and left deep scars.
So, if you can't ever really know someone, not even your partner, how can you really trust them? They could suddenly turn their back on you at the most inopportune moments...
In my view, expecting them not to do so is naïve. Accepting they will at some time probably leave you hanging would be realistic - but realism is not very much fun. As Robert Heinlein said, "A pessimist is right more often than an optimist, but an optimist has much more fun." Too bad I'm a pessimist and a realist...
Family man
A family man should not take risks that a bachelor finds acceptable.
-- Robert A. Heinlein
Life is a tasteless meal, and risks and danger are the seasoning of life.
-- Hak
Better not to become a family man then...
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