Cowardice and betrayal

Why are there so many cowards in the world? In my experience, it happens too often that someone is too cowardly to just speak his mind. They prefer running, and shunning you, to saying why they are mad at you. And I think it is very sad.

Perhaps it is in part due to the fact that we are living in an Information Age. It is increasingly easy to just block someone online if you live somewhere else, to just cut him off. Suppose you lived in some tiny village in 1000 AD and you were angry with a friend from that village (the villagers being just about the only people you ever saw), you had better just talk to him about it and work it out. But these days, people find it easier to just cut off and block all communications, so they won't have to explain their feelings. I think it would be a sad thing indeed for the human race if these people don't feel any guilt about this cowardly behaviour. But of course, you can't ask them, as they'll just ignore you. I hope they do, though, as it is what they deserve.

I continue to be surprised at the kind of people who pull these stunts, and I still don't see it coming, despite it having happened a number of times. People I trusted, people I called (very) good friends, have cut off all communications with me out of the blue without ever giving me a reason. Asking for one, even demanding one, doesn't help, and I have even once received a reply I would just have to accept not getting a reason for the 'betrayal' (which is what it feels like). This person actually replied to say he refused to tell me! To me this is as cowardly as being a soldier who is too scared to fight and instead lays down in a trench somewhere crying, sucking his thumb and calling for his momma.

I recently had a friend who couldn't stand such practices either, who was as stunned as I was that this happened, that people could display such cowardly behaviour, to show this little loyalty to someone they used to call a good friend and shared many good times with. We talked about this a lot, and I thought she was the last person on earth who would ever do such a thing. But as it happens, she did, and I am flabbergasted by it. If such an outspoken opponent of such things does this, is somehow too afraid to tell me what the hell is up and leaves me wondering what on earth it was that I have done to her without realising it, then just about anyone can do this.

So I have been betrayed by good friends and by someone professing to hate people who do what she did herself. They either started ignoring me outright and pretended I no longer existed, refused to give me a reason for it or did give me a reason (happened only once - does this make this person slightly less pathetic, I wonder?) but never gave me a chance to reply or to defend myself (reminds me of stabbing someone in the back), instead saying that she would block me on all websites and that it would be the last I ever heard of her. And it leaves me wondering if I am somehow a person who is not to be trusted, who does the most horrible of things, who should be hated for all the terrible things he does to people, who deserved all this. But you know, that is simply not true. The people who are too cowardly to speak their minds over some (minor) grievance are to blame, and I rank them among the most pathetic of human beings.

But what to do, then? Should I just not make friends, never trust people, expecting to be betrayed? Of course not. I will have to learn to shrug off these betrayals, as they will continue to occur, I am sure. But it is a difficult thing to do, and at the moment I have great difficulty imagining not caring when this happens. Maybe expecting it will happen anyway will make it hurt less when it does. Or perhaps it is supposed to hurt every time to remind you never to become naïve and trust people too easily.

And these cowards? I hope they will burn in hell.

People are strange

Everyone has something really strange about them. And I mean everyone. Just make an imaginary list of a few people you know well and think of something really weird about all of them. Something you've shaken your head over on occasion, or even countless times, for lack of understanding this. I guarantee you you'll be able to think of something.

Is this bad? Well, a lot of these characteristics are probably unwanted parts of someone's personality, something they can't get rid of (though soms people embrace them as it gives them something to hold on to), but sometimes people don't even realise themselves that this particular thing about them is pretty odd. So essentially I guess you could call them bad. But for one, it is something that makes people as unique as they are - which makes life interesting, so this is good - and second, you have something weird about you too. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it might be a good idea to start thinking about this, as you may just discover something about yourself. Something you might want to try and change, though this is often difficult.

Are you completely satisfied about yourself? Then congratulations are probably in order, as you have perhaps embraced this strangeness as an integral part of you, something that makes you you, even though you may sometimes find it difficult or annoying. Or perhaps you haven't yet figured out what it is about you that is kind of odd or uncommon. In that event, again: it might be a good idea to start thinking about this.

So am I trying to make you feel bad by "letting you search for something bad about yourself"? No. I am merely suggesting that if you don't know what would be strange about you, pondering this might help you understand yourself better. It won't change the way you are in any case, but self-knowledge is something that is valuable beyond question, and perhaps it will gain you some more :).

I don't expect anyone to comment about what is odd about them, but perhaps you could say whether or not you are aware or something strange about you. That would be interesting to know.

And if it helps, just call it 'exceptional' ;).