How would you answer this question? By saying your name? Certainly you would do so if a guy wants to check if you are on the guest list to a concert. Your name serves as no more than a means of identification, and by giving it, you are identifying yourself, perhaps so the other person knows he is talking to the person he meant to talk to, or to confirm it was you who ordered a table at a restaurant. Sometimes you will even need to show people a document confirming your alleged name. To prove that you are who you say you are. But who are you?
What if you were given a different name at birth? Would that have made you a different person? Seeing as you never had anything to do with the name you were given, and the ones giving it to you could not yet know who you are, it could not have made you a different person. In fact, a name is just a label. It is convenient. Just like giving the name 'apple' to that certain type of fruit, to be able to identify it. Pointing at a fruit bowl filled with a dozen types of fruit and asking for "that round piece of fruit" would not do. And similarly, "you there, with the black hair" would not do. So a name is a tool, and does not give any information about the core of you.
Most people asking you who you are, are not interested in the core of you, in what moves you. As soon as they know your name, they are no longer interested. And why should they, if their job is to let people into a concert building, for instance? But what if someone who really likes you is genuinely interested in what makes you you, and this someone obviously already knows your name? How would you then answer this question?
Would you describe what you look like? This description would just be about your exterior, most of which you have never had much say over. You decide what clothes to wear, how long to grow your hair and how to style it, maybe add some make-up if you're one of the 3 Gs (girl, gay or goth) and take care of your body (or not) to make sure you are presentable and don't stink. If you stuff yourself full of McDonalds every day you will probably be fat. If you're anorexic you may be like a walking skeleton. But there is no escaping that same face, the same basic contours of your body, and there is only so much you can do to change your appearance. At the most, your appearance is a reflection of who you are, designed to give people a general idea of who you are without them having to ask you any questions. And indeed, by just looking at someone you can get a decent impression of him or her, and based on this impression you may decide to go and talk to that person, or to avoid him or her. But your appearance will never be more than a reflection of your true self, so a description of your exterior would not satisfy a person interested in what makes you you.
Would you give your profession? Would it do to give your job title, like "I'm a waste management and disposal technician" (meaning you are a refuse collector)? How much information would this give about who you are? Most likely you are just doing this particular job just because you need money, not because you like to secretly dive into piles of garbage bags when no one is looking. Okay, so say you are an artist. It is very likely you are not doing that job for the money at all. This would give someone more of a peek into the core of you. But is it who you are? In other words, if you changed jobs and became a fireman instead, would that change you? To what extent is your job part of you? A person genuinely interested in you will want to know more than just what you do for a living.
Would you say what your hobbies are? These are definitely things you don't do for money, so they represent your interests, and betray some of who you are. Now we're getting somewhere. Talking about your hobbies will give people an idea if you have any interests in common with them. If someone is wondering if you could be friends, having shared interests is a must. Your audience will be getting a clearer picture of who they are dealing with if you disclose your hobbies.
Would you talk about your lifestyle? It makes quite a difference if you're a loner who works at home and reads books the rest of the day, if you visit the pub and drink with friends each day after work, if you eat a home-cooked meal every day or usually eat frozen pizzas or eat out, if you like watching TV after work every night with your partner, or if you travel a lot and do odd jobs wherever you can do earn a living while roaming the world. Intertwined with your hobbies, this gives people an even clearer picture of what kind of person you are.
Would you share your policical views? Do you consider your 'being' left or right of center (i.e. having certain political preferences) to be something that gives crucial information about who you are? I'm sure some people must feel that way, especially in countries with a lot of political tension. Its relative importance for who you are can therefore vary.
Would you state your race or nationality? This is probably more important the prouder you are of it, and in certain countries, like multicultural ones, this could be more significant than in others. But is it who you are? What if you were born in a different country?
Would you state your 'chosen'* religion? I know religious types can first state they are a Christian or a Muslim before anything else, except maybe their name. So such people will probably consider this to be a very important part of who they are. Especially since it influences someone's lifestyle so, and possibly his or her hobbies. But what if you are a Christian (in this universe) who was born in a Muslim family instead, or vice versa? (Haha, religious people probably would not even be able to imagine this, so let's not go there.)
Or would you merely say you are John's wife, Emily's husband, or the colonel's son?
There are undoubtedly even more things you could say about yourself, as human beings are frighteningly complex, and it is very difficult to put into words what defines you (if you even know what does!). Suppose you were asked who you are and you tried to explain what makes you you, what would you say?
Just thinking about this makes you a richer person. Sharing your answer to the above question in the comments would also make my day :).
*This is in fact hardly ever chosen but imposed by the parents or even the government in certain countries.
Friday 25 February 2011
Monday 14 February 2011
Prioritising
This is so difficult when there are dozens of things each day you want to do. Besides the obvious, like working or studying, there are always chores that need to be done (but which are often postponed) and depending on how many hobbies you have, you always have other things you want to do. I, for one, have so many there is not one day I can do everything I want. To compensate I mostly run around like a maniac to save time, and I try to do every routine action as efficiently as possible for the same reason. I even zip up and buckle my belt as fast as I can to save two seconds. It's crazy.
Weekdays are different from weekend days, though. I seem to allow myself to relax then, falling into a completely different routine... of laziness. I do things at a leisurely pace and allow myself to spend the day doing fun stuff and resting. I am like a different person.
Sometimes I resolve to do some work or studying on a Saturday or something, but I shouldn't, because even the prospect of one hour's work makes my day a lot less enjoyable, constantly reminding myself I should go and do that thing after finishing the fun activity I am doing at the moment. And there is a reason I take it slow in weekends: I need to rest to keep up my frantic 'weekday pace'.
But enough about weekends. They are about having fun, that's clear enough. On weekdays, however, I want to have fun too. In fact, there are a number of things I just need to do on a weekday for it to count as a 'good' day in my book:
1) I need to be productive, meaning I either need to work and make money, or study - to finally finish my education and be rid of it.
2) I need to get a few hours of relaxation/recreation in.
3) I need to waste as little time as possible (when I need to wait for one minute for food to heat up, I do a leg exercise or something)
It will be obvious I won't feel very good if on any (week)day I relax too little (stress!), but if I don't get enough work done on a weekday I feel equally terrible. Being unproductive feels like being useless to me, even for a day. And I think being useful is one of the key features of existence. Contribute, or die.
I struggle with setting priorities each and every day, however. I could list dozens of things here that I want to do on a certain day, but I will spare you the dreary details. Regardless, I have to choose between these things every day, and this is especially hard when you have to disappoint people. And people seeking to make use of the time of another are disappointed every day, as people just have to make choices and will regularly choose to do something other than meet or speak with others, be it friends, colleagues or acquaintainces. There is just too little time.
Note that this does not mean someone does not have the time - someone just chooses to spend it differently. This is just the thing. When anyone cancels any appointment, or does not reply to an e-mail, it is because he or she chooses to do sometime else instead. This is why you can hold it against them in almost any case (except when there is an emergency). But should you? My solution is counting on people cancelling appointments, which will make the meetings all the better if they come through. If these people cancel, you were expecting it anyway. And if they cancel too often, screw them. Oops, I mean: deprioritise them ;). It's what they did to you, anyway.
If someone continuously deprioritises you, it can make you feel inconsequential, unworthy of someone's attention. If you work with these particular people, however (especially when they have a higher position than you do), you're pretty much fucked.
So every day is a struggle of setting priorities. I make a mental list of the things I really need to do, the things I really should do, and the things I really want to do, and try to make the most of it, to do as much I can in the 16 or so hours I am awake. It would certainly help if days lasted for 30 hours, though...
Weekdays are different from weekend days, though. I seem to allow myself to relax then, falling into a completely different routine... of laziness. I do things at a leisurely pace and allow myself to spend the day doing fun stuff and resting. I am like a different person.
Sometimes I resolve to do some work or studying on a Saturday or something, but I shouldn't, because even the prospect of one hour's work makes my day a lot less enjoyable, constantly reminding myself I should go and do that thing after finishing the fun activity I am doing at the moment. And there is a reason I take it slow in weekends: I need to rest to keep up my frantic 'weekday pace'.
But enough about weekends. They are about having fun, that's clear enough. On weekdays, however, I want to have fun too. In fact, there are a number of things I just need to do on a weekday for it to count as a 'good' day in my book:
1) I need to be productive, meaning I either need to work and make money, or study - to finally finish my education and be rid of it.
2) I need to get a few hours of relaxation/recreation in.
3) I need to waste as little time as possible (when I need to wait for one minute for food to heat up, I do a leg exercise or something)
It will be obvious I won't feel very good if on any (week)day I relax too little (stress!), but if I don't get enough work done on a weekday I feel equally terrible. Being unproductive feels like being useless to me, even for a day. And I think being useful is one of the key features of existence. Contribute, or die.
I struggle with setting priorities each and every day, however. I could list dozens of things here that I want to do on a certain day, but I will spare you the dreary details. Regardless, I have to choose between these things every day, and this is especially hard when you have to disappoint people. And people seeking to make use of the time of another are disappointed every day, as people just have to make choices and will regularly choose to do something other than meet or speak with others, be it friends, colleagues or acquaintainces. There is just too little time.
Note that this does not mean someone does not have the time - someone just chooses to spend it differently. This is just the thing. When anyone cancels any appointment, or does not reply to an e-mail, it is because he or she chooses to do sometime else instead. This is why you can hold it against them in almost any case (except when there is an emergency). But should you? My solution is counting on people cancelling appointments, which will make the meetings all the better if they come through. If these people cancel, you were expecting it anyway. And if they cancel too often, screw them. Oops, I mean: deprioritise them ;). It's what they did to you, anyway.
If someone continuously deprioritises you, it can make you feel inconsequential, unworthy of someone's attention. If you work with these particular people, however (especially when they have a higher position than you do), you're pretty much fucked.
So every day is a struggle of setting priorities. I make a mental list of the things I really need to do, the things I really should do, and the things I really want to do, and try to make the most of it, to do as much I can in the 16 or so hours I am awake. It would certainly help if days lasted for 30 hours, though...
Thursday 10 February 2011
Working at home II
This blog entry described the numerous advantages of working at home. Unfortunately, there are down sides too. Although they are fewer in number, some are much more serious:
If I get only few job offers in a certain period (like in summer), I don't earn much money. If I get sick (or bust my knee..) and can't work, I don't earn one dime. If I go on holiday, I cannot work and will not earn one dime either. If I move house, I have to wait for the Internet to work (takes about a friggin' month) to be able to do any work whatsoever. If I run into (computer/Internet) problems, no one will fix them for me. And if I get sick for a long time, or break my fingers or something, I am totally fucked.
There are few moments I don't think about work: I never get home from work. If I get a quotation request late at night, I feel obligated to draw one up right away. Unless I am gone for the weekend, I never feel I am truly off work. Clients can call me at any time of day (though I don't always answer in evenings and weekends). I am at home by myself all day long, which can get lonely. I get distracted by personal e-mails and temptations (playing a game for a bit because I can, etc.) numerous times a day. Without a fair amount of discipline, I would hardly get any work done. I have no job security, as it completely depends on the jobs I get, so I never know when I will have how much money (which is quite handy when planning things). I never even know for sure when I will be able to go on holiday.
I have to take care of, and pay for advertising myself. I have to maintain client relations myself. I have to maintain and pay for my website myself. I have to do my own administration and pay my bookkeeper myself. I have to draw up every quotation and invoice myself. I have no colleagues so I have to do everything myself; I can rely on no one but myself. I have to pay for my hardware and software and numerous other things myself. I have to pay the heating and electrical bills myself. I even have to pay for the tea I drink myself instead of getting it from a machine for free.
I'm not even building up any pension (now). So if I get old, I'd better just forget to open my parachute!
Still, I don't know if I could work for a boss... It is like I am addicted to the freedom associated with being self-employed. But I guess there are worse addictions :).
If I get only few job offers in a certain period (like in summer), I don't earn much money. If I get sick (or bust my knee..) and can't work, I don't earn one dime. If I go on holiday, I cannot work and will not earn one dime either. If I move house, I have to wait for the Internet to work (takes about a friggin' month) to be able to do any work whatsoever. If I run into (computer/Internet) problems, no one will fix them for me. And if I get sick for a long time, or break my fingers or something, I am totally fucked.
There are few moments I don't think about work: I never get home from work. If I get a quotation request late at night, I feel obligated to draw one up right away. Unless I am gone for the weekend, I never feel I am truly off work. Clients can call me at any time of day (though I don't always answer in evenings and weekends). I am at home by myself all day long, which can get lonely. I get distracted by personal e-mails and temptations (playing a game for a bit because I can, etc.) numerous times a day. Without a fair amount of discipline, I would hardly get any work done. I have no job security, as it completely depends on the jobs I get, so I never know when I will have how much money (which is quite handy when planning things). I never even know for sure when I will be able to go on holiday.
I have to take care of, and pay for advertising myself. I have to maintain client relations myself. I have to maintain and pay for my website myself. I have to do my own administration and pay my bookkeeper myself. I have to draw up every quotation and invoice myself. I have no colleagues so I have to do everything myself; I can rely on no one but myself. I have to pay for my hardware and software and numerous other things myself. I have to pay the heating and electrical bills myself. I even have to pay for the tea I drink myself instead of getting it from a machine for free.
I'm not even building up any pension (now). So if I get old, I'd better just forget to open my parachute!
Still, I don't know if I could work for a boss... It is like I am addicted to the freedom associated with being self-employed. But I guess there are worse addictions :).
Tuesday 8 February 2011
Working at home
When I am having a wonderful dream and my alarm goes off, I can snooze my way back into the dream without fear of (serious) consequences. This is only one of the awesome elements of working at home. But this is not all.
I don't have to rush in the morning at ass o'clock to get to work in time. I don't have to drive through rush-hour traffic, eyes drooping with sleep. I don't have to eat bland peanut butter sandwiches - prepared hours before - on set times, and force them down my throat in 15 minutes to get back to work as soon as my short-as-a-leprechaun's-dick break is up. I don't have to rush to empty my bowels in 3 minutes in the morning to get to work in time. I don't have to go through a lot of trouble finding a time that suits me when making appointments with doctors, etc. I don't have to force breakfast down my throat at a time I can hardly eat anything yet. I don't have to get up extra early to get my friggin' back exercises done (at a time when I am hardly energetic) before going to work. I don't even have to do anything on a certain day, if I choose not to.
I can go jogging in the warm afternoon sun instead of after dinner, when in fact all I would want to do is relax from a hard day's work instead of running my ass off. I can get groceries at times supermarkets and bakeries still have fresh food and the shelves are full. I can reply to private e-mails all day long. During a meal I can watch part of a DVD or (youtube) videos, or read something interesting on the Internet. I can work like I am being chased by the devil for two hours and complete a four-hour task in that time, followed by a two-hour gaming session, if I choose to. I can listen to my favourite music all day long - and by that I mean all day long. I can work in my boxers with a big fan on me in summer. I can even work in my striped pyjamas while stinking but not feeling like taking a shower just yet, if I choose to.
No one tells me which jobs to take. No one has me translate dull legal documents. No one is looking over my shoulder all the time, pointing out my mistakes. No one but me decides what I do and when I do it. No one tells me I am working too slow, or too fast*. No one bothers me with inane questions, distracting me from my work. No one even knows what exactly it is I'm doing.
If I don't want to, I don't have to go to bed and try hard to fall asleep at a set time. If I oversleep and don't have time for my exercises before going to work I don't have to sit at work all day with back pains destroying my concentration and ruining my entire day. If I need a break I can at any given moment put my work on hold for fifteen minutes and play a game, take a walk or e-mail a friend. If I feel like crap and I can't concentrate, I can take half a day off to spend watching DVDs in bed (in winter) or in nature in the sun reading a book (in summer), catching up with work in the evening. If I want to get away from it all, I can even go on holiday for a week almost at any given moment if I choose to.
There are down sides too, but just for now, I like to think only of the advantages :). Yes, I can even kid myself into thinking this is a dream job, and it is all good, if I choose to.
*Someone recently told me of being fired for working too fast! What is this world coming to?!
I don't have to rush in the morning at ass o'clock to get to work in time. I don't have to drive through rush-hour traffic, eyes drooping with sleep. I don't have to eat bland peanut butter sandwiches - prepared hours before - on set times, and force them down my throat in 15 minutes to get back to work as soon as my short-as-a-leprechaun's-dick break is up. I don't have to rush to empty my bowels in 3 minutes in the morning to get to work in time. I don't have to go through a lot of trouble finding a time that suits me when making appointments with doctors, etc. I don't have to force breakfast down my throat at a time I can hardly eat anything yet. I don't have to get up extra early to get my friggin' back exercises done (at a time when I am hardly energetic) before going to work. I don't even have to do anything on a certain day, if I choose not to.
I can go jogging in the warm afternoon sun instead of after dinner, when in fact all I would want to do is relax from a hard day's work instead of running my ass off. I can get groceries at times supermarkets and bakeries still have fresh food and the shelves are full. I can reply to private e-mails all day long. During a meal I can watch part of a DVD or (youtube) videos, or read something interesting on the Internet. I can work like I am being chased by the devil for two hours and complete a four-hour task in that time, followed by a two-hour gaming session, if I choose to. I can listen to my favourite music all day long - and by that I mean all day long. I can work in my boxers with a big fan on me in summer. I can even work in my striped pyjamas while stinking but not feeling like taking a shower just yet, if I choose to.
No one tells me which jobs to take. No one has me translate dull legal documents. No one is looking over my shoulder all the time, pointing out my mistakes. No one but me decides what I do and when I do it. No one tells me I am working too slow, or too fast*. No one bothers me with inane questions, distracting me from my work. No one even knows what exactly it is I'm doing.
If I don't want to, I don't have to go to bed and try hard to fall asleep at a set time. If I oversleep and don't have time for my exercises before going to work I don't have to sit at work all day with back pains destroying my concentration and ruining my entire day. If I need a break I can at any given moment put my work on hold for fifteen minutes and play a game, take a walk or e-mail a friend. If I feel like crap and I can't concentrate, I can take half a day off to spend watching DVDs in bed (in winter) or in nature in the sun reading a book (in summer), catching up with work in the evening. If I want to get away from it all, I can even go on holiday for a week almost at any given moment if I choose to.
There are down sides too, but just for now, I like to think only of the advantages :). Yes, I can even kid myself into thinking this is a dream job, and it is all good, if I choose to.
*Someone recently told me of being fired for working too fast! What is this world coming to?!
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