Working at home

When I am having a wonderful dream and my alarm goes off, I can snooze my way back into the dream without fear of (serious) consequences. This is only one of the awesome elements of working at home. But this is not all.

I don't have to rush in the morning at ass o'clock to get to work in time. I don't have to drive through rush-hour traffic, eyes drooping with sleep. I don't have to eat bland peanut butter sandwiches - prepared hours before - on set times, and force them down my throat in 15 minutes to get back to work as soon as my short-as-a-leprechaun's-dick break is up. I don't have to rush to empty my bowels in 3 minutes in the morning to get to work in time. I don't have to go through a lot of trouble finding a time that suits me when making appointments with doctors, etc. I don't have to force breakfast down my throat at a time I can hardly eat anything yet. I don't have to get up extra early to get my friggin' back exercises done (at a time when I am hardly energetic) before going to work. I don't even have to do anything on a certain day, if I choose not to.

I can go jogging in the warm afternoon sun instead of after dinner, when in fact all I would want to do is relax from a hard day's work instead of running my ass off. I can get groceries at times supermarkets and bakeries still have fresh food and the shelves are full. I can reply to private e-mails all day long. During a meal I can watch part of a DVD or (youtube) videos, or read something interesting on the Internet. I can work like I am being chased by the devil for two hours and complete a four-hour task in that time, followed by a two-hour gaming session, if I choose to. I can listen to my favourite music all day long - and by that I mean all day long. I can work in my boxers with a big fan on me in summer. I can even work in my striped pyjamas while stinking but not feeling like taking a shower just yet, if I choose to.

No one tells me which jobs to take. No one has me translate dull legal documents. No one is looking over my shoulder all the time, pointing out my mistakes. No one but me decides what I do and when I do it. No one tells me I am working too slow, or too fast*. No one bothers me with inane questions, distracting me from my work. No one even knows what exactly it is I'm doing.

If I don't want to, I don't have to go to bed and try hard to fall asleep at a set time. If I oversleep and don't have time for my exercises before going to work I don't have to sit at work all day with back pains destroying my concentration and ruining my entire day. If I need a break I can at any given moment put my work on hold for fifteen minutes and play a game, take a walk or e-mail a friend. If I feel like crap and I can't concentrate, I can take half a day off to spend watching DVDs in bed (in winter) or in nature in the sun reading a book (in summer), catching up with work in the evening. If I want to get away from it all, I can even go on holiday for a week almost at any given moment if I choose to.

There are down sides too, but just for now, I like to think only of the advantages :). Yes, I can even kid myself into thinking this is a dream job, and it is all good, if I choose to.


*Someone recently told me of being fired for working too fast! What is this world coming to?!