I fear fear and I hate hate, but I hate fear more than I fear hate. I own my hate and my fear owns me. I fear love and dare not hope for it, but do not hate it; it is the fear of love that I hate. I fear and hate hope, but do dare hope I will someday soon stop feeling hate and fear through death. I love little but I would love the end of fear and hate and hope and love and life.
I fear any possibly rekindled hope and any other regeneration, because it will make the inevitable fall all the harder. This fear of hope renders moot any and all efforts made by me and others to get me 'better' again. I am already lost. Only the fear of the pain and fear of dying is preventing my death. I fear this is the only fear preventing the loss of all other fears, and I have never hated anything as much.
You are not already lost, there is still so much hope for you if you just hold on. The future may seem dark and hopeless, but it's not. It's the opposite. When you've hit bottom, things can only get better. And they will.
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