Stupid Modern Caveman

Take out the trash

Do the dishes

Get some groceries

Call that one company

Put an ad online

Clean the bathroom

Translate that one page for that client

It won’t take that long

Just do it

What’s your problem, asshole?

Just get this stupid shit done

I tell myself these things and then

I think I’m going to be sick

And for the thousandth time

I drop down on the couch pathetically

Longing for beer

For any kind of distraction from ‘useful’ activities

For a way not to do all these stupid things

All of which seem impossible tasks

That I postpone time and time again

I can still calculate perfectly well

How long it would take me

To do all of that crap

And cross it off my list

And I do know perfectly well

It won’t take that long

But rather I want to take that damn list

And rip it to shreds with my teeth

Like a wounded animal in its death throes

Going berserk

And so the days go by

Bullshit tasks piling up along with the dust

Shoes sitting there untouched for days

As I stay in until I run out of beer

Doing lord knows what

To pass the time

And I wonder how much longer

Before they kick me out

For failing to pay the rent

And I wish I lived in 10,000 BC

Hunting for food

Dragging hot carcasses back to my cave

Constructing my own tools

Making spearheads for killing my prey

Screwing my cavewoman from behind

Living a simple life

Without rent or insurance

But I’m here in this rotten society

With stupid jobs you do for money

Never once truly making something you need

Never once getting your own food

All of society specialised in shit

And as I imagine myself a caveman

Being a useless idiot, lying on the couch

I crack open a beer

That ultimate temporary cure

And suck out the numbing juice

Trying to forget I exist