Who are you?

How would you answer this question? By saying your name? Certainly you would do so if a guy wants to check if you are on the guest list to a concert. Your name serves as no more than a means of identification, and by giving it, you are identifying yourself, perhaps so the other person knows he is talking to the person he meant to talk to, or to confirm it was you who ordered a table at a restaurant. Sometimes you will even need to show people a document confirming your alleged name. To prove that you are who you say you are. But who are you?

What if you were given a different name at birth? Would that have made you a different person? Seeing as you never had anything to do with the name you were given, and the ones giving it to you could not yet know who you are, it could not have made you a different person. In fact, a name is just a label. It is convenient. Just like giving the name 'apple' to that certain type of fruit, to be able to identify it. Pointing at a fruit bowl filled with a dozen types of fruit and asking for "that round piece of fruit" would not do. And similarly, "you there, with the black hair" would not do. So a name is a tool, and does not give any information about the core of you.

Most people asking you who you are, are not interested in the core of you, in what moves you. As soon as they know your name, they are no longer interested. And why should they, if their job is to let people into a concert building, for instance? But what if someone who really likes you is genuinely interested in what makes you you, and this someone obviously already knows your name? How would you then answer this question? 


Would you describe what you look like? This description would just be about your exterior, most of which you have never had much say over. You decide what clothes to wear, how long to grow your hair and how to style it, maybe add some make-up if you're one of the 3 Gs (girl, gay or goth) and take care of your body (or not) to make sure you are presentable and don't stink. If you stuff yourself full of McDonalds every day you will probably be fat. If you're anorexic you may be like a walking skeleton. But there is no escaping that same face, the same basic contours of your body, and there is only so much you can do to change your appearance. At the most, your appearance is a reflection of who you are, designed to give people a general idea of who you are without them having to ask you any questions. And indeed, by just looking at someone you can get a decent impression of him or her, and based on this impression you may decide to go and talk to that person, or to avoid him or her. But your appearance will never be more than a reflection of your true self, so a description of your exterior would not satisfy a person interested in what makes you you.


Would you give your profession? Would it do to give your job title, like "I'm a waste management and disposal technician" (meaning you are a refuse collector)? How much information would this give about who you are? Most likely you are just doing this particular job just because you need money, not because you like to secretly dive into piles of garbage bags when no one is looking. Okay, so say you are an artist. It is very likely you are not doing that job for the money at all. This would give someone more of a peek into the core of you. But is it who you are? In other words, if you changed jobs and became a fireman instead, would that change you? To what extent is your job part of you? A person genuinely interested in you will want to know more than just what you do for a living.


Would you say what your hobbies are? These are definitely things you don't do for money, so they represent your interests, and betray some of who you are. Now we're getting somewhere. Talking about your hobbies will give people an idea if you have any interests in common with them. If someone is wondering if you could be friends, having shared interests is a must. Your audience will be getting a clearer picture of who they are dealing with if you disclose your hobbies.

Would you talk about your lifestyle? It makes quite a difference if you're a loner who works at home and reads books the rest of the day, if you visit the pub and drink with friends each day after work, if you eat a home-cooked meal every day or usually eat frozen pizzas or eat out, if you like watching TV after work every night with your partner, or if you travel a lot and do odd jobs wherever you can do earn a living while roaming the world. Intertwined with your hobbies, this gives people an even clearer picture of what kind of person you are.


Would you share your policical views? Do you consider your 'being' left or right of center (i.e. having certain political preferences) to be something that gives crucial information about who you are? I'm sure some people must feel that way, especially in countries with a lot of political tension. Its relative importance for who you are can therefore vary.

Would you state your race or nationality? This is probably more important the prouder you are of it, and in certain countries, like multicultural ones, this could be more significant than in others. But is it who you are? What if you were born in a different country?

Would you state your 'chosen'* religion? I know religious types can first state they are a Christian or a Muslim before anything else, except maybe their name. So such people will probably consider this to be a very important part of who they are. Especially since it influences someone's lifestyle so, and possibly his or her hobbies. But what if you are a Christian (in this universe) who was born in a Muslim family instead, or vice versa? (Haha, religious people probably would not even be able to imagine this, so let's not go there.)

Or would you merely say you are John's wife, Emily's husband, or the colonel's son?

There are undoubtedly even more things you could say about yourself, as human beings are frighteningly complex, and it is very difficult to put into words what defines you (if you even know what does!). Suppose you were asked who you are and you tried to explain what makes you you, what would you say?

Just thinking about this makes you a richer person. Sharing your answer to the above question in the comments would also make my day :).


*This is in fact hardly ever chosen but imposed by the parents or even the government in certain countries.

The church

If you are a religious fanatic or otherwise sensitive with regard to all matters religious, skip this one. 

Oh man, how I hate the church. Don't get me wrong: I'm of the opinion that everyone should be free to pursue whatever it is they like, and if they want to worship something they call 'God' and go to church, they should do so. I hate it, however, when these people 1) preach to people and try to convert them and 2) drag their children to church without them ever having a say in the matter. As it happens, I was dragged to church for the first twelve years of my life. At first I was so young I really didn't know better, but the last few years I had to go there I remember absolutely not wanting to go anymore, I so hated that nonsense. In the end my parents told me I had to come with them until my twelfth birthday. So you can imagine I really liked that particular birthday.

I was recently shown this book about the church I used to go to, having a number of pictures in it of kids making their first Communion. I have no idea if only Catholics do this, because I have never known what the hell its purpose was. When I did this (was made to do it..) I never knew what for, I just knew my parents felt I had to. In any case, it's some kind of ritual, and if I was meant to 'commune' with God or something, it failed utterly. I had to dress up in these moronic clothes and walk through the church with all kinds of people who had nothing better to do than watching this nonsense. In my view they celebrate converting powerless children to their cause because it's just so much harder to convert independent, sensible adults. Maybe that's why these Christians always have so many children...

Apparently, many of these children adopt their parents' beliefs. I don't know why some 'fall for it' and why some don't, but I'm sure as hell glad they didn't convince me there is some kind of higher being who created us and somehow rules the universe. All this seems so utterly ridiculous to me. I mean, jeez, they even think we don't evolve from monkeys! Instead, Adam and Eve were apparently created by God and every human being springs from that source? Seriously?! I can't believe anyone would actually accept this as truth. And why would they believe something this fairy tale-like but not believe in Poseidon ruling the seas or Thor hurling thunderbolts, for instance? I mean, this seems equally far-fetched and ridiculous to me...

Religious people say: "You cannot deny there is something out there because all over the planet people have developed religions. This cannot be a coincidence!" Well, no, it's not a coincidence, because thousands of years ago people didn't understand nature and they saw lightning and this frightened them, so they made up a story about some kind of higher being hurling these lightning bolts. And other peoples recognised the importance of the sun, and decided to revere it as a God. The Aztecs, for example, sacrificed thousands upon thousands of people to please their Sun God, Huitzilopochtli (I googled this :D), hoping (because they couldn't prove it - that's the point) that this would improve their crop yields. Of course, there are many more examples, but it all comes down to the same thing: they couldn't explain certain things and they made up a higher being or beings that explained them. But now, in 2010, we are so far developed that we have explained nearly everything. Hardly anything is unaccounted for. So why, in God's name :P, do people still believe in these fairy tales?! My theory is: they are insecure and feel lost in so big a world and therefore need something bigger, some kind of mysterious leader, to feel safe and guided. They feel they can't do it alone, and feel comforted by the thought that some divine being has a plan for them, and will tell them what to do. Even though he doesn't actually ever do this. Some people will take some random event as a sign from God, but this only reminds me of ancient shamans seeing an omen in every bird that flew over their village... You would expect people to wise up over thousands of years...

Also, they have thought up this concept about heaven and hell. I get it: you scare people into behaving, telling them they will go to hell if they kill somebody, or steal, or whatever. Sometimes, this will work, and I guess it used to be especially effective a couple hundred years ago, but they can't seriously think there is this place under the ground with lava and all that, and a horned devil monster torturing you or something, right? I have heard much better fairy tales than this one. And then there is heaven: so if you behave and you are a good person you will have this amazing afterlife above the clouds? Come on. This is like the biggest joke ever, spun out of control. Rationally they must realise this is complete nonsense, right? They must just be ignoring their common sense and stubbornly believe it anyway because they like the idea so much. Well, as much as I like the idea of having a harem of beautiful women to pleasure me all day long, this is no more than a dream (although there is actually some other religion that believes you will actually get this when you die... does this stupidity never end?), and if they don't recognise it as such, I think they are quite naïve, almost childlike in their beliefs. As if something will become real when they think it hard enough.

And then there is praying. Holding their hands together or folding them, believers 'speak' to God. In fact, they are just mumbling to themselves or thinking words when praying in silence. They think that this being that they made up listens to this, and grants them their wishes. But this doesn't happen. And suppose people prayed for, say, someone who was in a car accident to get better, and he is fixed by a doctor, their prayers have indeed come true, but not because this 'God' figure had anything to do with it. It was because this doctor is good at his job and had modern medicine at his disposal. But they will be like 'Praise the Lord!' How do you suppose this will make the doctor feel? :P

No, I cannot and will not ever understand this behaviour. I am an atheist, and I am very proud of it. It confirms that I am a creature of reason who doesn't fall for ridiculous, fairy tale-like lies openly embraced by people to repress their fear of life and the unknown. I am a realist. Does this make the world a pretty place? No. But at least I face it without any illusions to the contrary.