Bureaucracy V

God damn physiotherapists! This dick physiotherapist I had "treated" me twice before he decided to tell me my health insurer would not pay for it (otherwise I wouldn't even have visited him in the first place). The first time I saw him he took his damn time taking notes about my injury and jotted down my address and such, with me wondering when the hell we would actually do something, followed by giving me some crap exercises I have never been able to do because it entailed me stretching my leg, which I couldn't with my knee injury, even after my operation. He now charged 50 euros for this crap. And the second time he insisted he come to me, just after my knee operation, while I could already drive (= easy). Even though I knew this would 'cost' me more, I was under the impression my health insurance would cover it anyway so I told him alright, he could come. He then arrived much later than agreed upon, but didn't call and I couldn't reach him. Fucked up my afternoon. He was then supposed to treat me for 30 minutes, but he stayed for maybe 18 and repeated himself a half dozen times during that period to fill the time because he's a moron and couldn't think of anything else to do. He taught me one exercise that was useful. Cost: 70 fucking euros. For arriving late without notifying me and staying for a measly 18 minutes, giving me one useful exercise. This is so god damn outrageous I want to maim and kill. The fact that people can charge such ridiculous sums of money for doing practically nothing and without informing them they have to pay for it themselves, and getting away with it, pisses me off so much I mean to either drive my car into his practice, or become a physiotherapist myself and charge people even more for doing even less (like showing off a neat trick I learned involving my ass and tiny little balls and slapping them in the face). Or the third option, of course: being a faggot and complaining about it on the Internet because I can't do anything about it anyway and feel like crap because my wallet is being stolen by someone pretending to give me a nice massage.

The church

If you are a religious fanatic or otherwise sensitive with regard to all matters religious, skip this one. 

Oh man, how I hate the church. Don't get me wrong: I'm of the opinion that everyone should be free to pursue whatever it is they like, and if they want to worship something they call 'God' and go to church, they should do so. I hate it, however, when these people 1) preach to people and try to convert them and 2) drag their children to church without them ever having a say in the matter. As it happens, I was dragged to church for the first twelve years of my life. At first I was so young I really didn't know better, but the last few years I had to go there I remember absolutely not wanting to go anymore, I so hated that nonsense. In the end my parents told me I had to come with them until my twelfth birthday. So you can imagine I really liked that particular birthday.

I was recently shown this book about the church I used to go to, having a number of pictures in it of kids making their first Communion. I have no idea if only Catholics do this, because I have never known what the hell its purpose was. When I did this (was made to do it..) I never knew what for, I just knew my parents felt I had to. In any case, it's some kind of ritual, and if I was meant to 'commune' with God or something, it failed utterly. I had to dress up in these moronic clothes and walk through the church with all kinds of people who had nothing better to do than watching this nonsense. In my view they celebrate converting powerless children to their cause because it's just so much harder to convert independent, sensible adults. Maybe that's why these Christians always have so many children...

Apparently, many of these children adopt their parents' beliefs. I don't know why some 'fall for it' and why some don't, but I'm sure as hell glad they didn't convince me there is some kind of higher being who created us and somehow rules the universe. All this seems so utterly ridiculous to me. I mean, jeez, they even think we don't evolve from monkeys! Instead, Adam and Eve were apparently created by God and every human being springs from that source? Seriously?! I can't believe anyone would actually accept this as truth. And why would they believe something this fairy tale-like but not believe in Poseidon ruling the seas or Thor hurling thunderbolts, for instance? I mean, this seems equally far-fetched and ridiculous to me...

Religious people say: "You cannot deny there is something out there because all over the planet people have developed religions. This cannot be a coincidence!" Well, no, it's not a coincidence, because thousands of years ago people didn't understand nature and they saw lightning and this frightened them, so they made up a story about some kind of higher being hurling these lightning bolts. And other peoples recognised the importance of the sun, and decided to revere it as a God. The Aztecs, for example, sacrificed thousands upon thousands of people to please their Sun God, Huitzilopochtli (I googled this :D), hoping (because they couldn't prove it - that's the point) that this would improve their crop yields. Of course, there are many more examples, but it all comes down to the same thing: they couldn't explain certain things and they made up a higher being or beings that explained them. But now, in 2010, we are so far developed that we have explained nearly everything. Hardly anything is unaccounted for. So why, in God's name :P, do people still believe in these fairy tales?! My theory is: they are insecure and feel lost in so big a world and therefore need something bigger, some kind of mysterious leader, to feel safe and guided. They feel they can't do it alone, and feel comforted by the thought that some divine being has a plan for them, and will tell them what to do. Even though he doesn't actually ever do this. Some people will take some random event as a sign from God, but this only reminds me of ancient shamans seeing an omen in every bird that flew over their village... You would expect people to wise up over thousands of years...

Also, they have thought up this concept about heaven and hell. I get it: you scare people into behaving, telling them they will go to hell if they kill somebody, or steal, or whatever. Sometimes, this will work, and I guess it used to be especially effective a couple hundred years ago, but they can't seriously think there is this place under the ground with lava and all that, and a horned devil monster torturing you or something, right? I have heard much better fairy tales than this one. And then there is heaven: so if you behave and you are a good person you will have this amazing afterlife above the clouds? Come on. This is like the biggest joke ever, spun out of control. Rationally they must realise this is complete nonsense, right? They must just be ignoring their common sense and stubbornly believe it anyway because they like the idea so much. Well, as much as I like the idea of having a harem of beautiful women to pleasure me all day long, this is no more than a dream (although there is actually some other religion that believes you will actually get this when you die... does this stupidity never end?), and if they don't recognise it as such, I think they are quite naïve, almost childlike in their beliefs. As if something will become real when they think it hard enough.

And then there is praying. Holding their hands together or folding them, believers 'speak' to God. In fact, they are just mumbling to themselves or thinking words when praying in silence. They think that this being that they made up listens to this, and grants them their wishes. But this doesn't happen. And suppose people prayed for, say, someone who was in a car accident to get better, and he is fixed by a doctor, their prayers have indeed come true, but not because this 'God' figure had anything to do with it. It was because this doctor is good at his job and had modern medicine at his disposal. But they will be like 'Praise the Lord!' How do you suppose this will make the doctor feel? :P

No, I cannot and will not ever understand this behaviour. I am an atheist, and I am very proud of it. It confirms that I am a creature of reason who doesn't fall for ridiculous, fairy tale-like lies openly embraced by people to repress their fear of life and the unknown. I am a realist. Does this make the world a pretty place? No. But at least I face it without any illusions to the contrary.

Bureaucracy II

Okay, this is so ridiculous I just have to write about it: I was forced to move in with my mom about 3 weeks ago because my house was going to be demolished and I hadn't yet been able to find a new place for myself. As my mom already had an Internet connection, I obviously wanted to terminate my current Internet contract (with Online). It appeared that you could prematurely terminate your contract when you move into a house where there is already an Internet connection present. Okay, makes sense. But the Netherlands wouldn't be the Netherlands without having to prove that you're actually living at this new address and that there is actually an Internet connection present. So I had to register with the municipality that I was coming to live here (which I had to do anyway), but I had to wait a week to get a copy of the certificate of residence (yeah, printing something is difficult indeed). In the meantime I needed a copy of my mom's Internet contract. But as you obviously can't keep everything, she couldn't find it. She had to call her provider (Tiscali) about this, but they give out contracts only once, they said. They could only provide a contract number, which would do the trick, they assured us.

Fine. So after three trips to town hall and waiting for over an hour in total, I had my little piece of paper to prove I live here. For some reason I couldn't e-mail all this and had to write a letter (who writes letters?!?), including the certificate and contract number. But just now they called and they said the contract number was no use because Tiscali wouldn't give them any contract information either (WHAT THE HELL?!) and now I had to go fetch some bank statement of my mom's to prove that she was actually paying Tiscali. I asked the guy if I couldn't just e-mail it, and he hesitantly said yes but wouldn't give me a direct e-mail address and started to stutter out some roundabout way of sending him an e-mail via the website.

As he was explaining this, I was browsing their website to find some link he was describing, and it hit me that I was surfing the Web at that moment because I was trying to prove I had access to it!! Angrily I told the guy that I was surfing the Web at that moment and that it was ridiculous that I had to spend hours doing all kinds of stuff, sending letters and whatnot, to prove I had access while I was using Internet at the same moment I was on the phone with the guy. He stammered something about it not working that way, and of course I knew it didn't, because we're living in this rotten bureaucratic society, so I didn't ask him if he could just perform some Google search, me copying his action and telling him what the top hit was or something, proving that I was indeed using the Internet. Utter absurdity.

Oh, and it was best if I just sent the bank statement via mail anyway, because "via e-mail it would probably get lost" :S. I told him that once this whole thing was finally over and done with, I would probably have moved again, rendering all my efforts moot. Of course he stammered some noncommittal nonsense answer, like such people always seem to do, uttering words but not really saying anything. So I guess I have no choice but to comply with his preposterous demands.

So. It's going to take me a month to prove I moved to a house with an existing Internet connection, costing me and my mom a couple of euros sending letters and calling hotlines (not a fortune or anything, but a complete and utter waste!), and costing this country money in paying the people working at Online and Tiscali dealing with this, while I could just have proven it with one simple Google search. This is such an utter waste of time and money - and it's definitely not the first time - that I'm losing faith in this country with its bureaucratic nonsense. And getting my Internet from a different provider once I move again is useless because it's the same everywhere. Maybe emigrating would be an option.

Any suggestions?

Bureaucracy

It is incredible to observe how we have become entangled in our own rules. They were established to create order, but by now we are long past order: our rules have become a waste of time and money, or, in a word: nonsense. There are so many examples to give from personal experience alone that I could fill a few pages with it. Now, I'm not going to do that, but one recent one may be worth mentioning.

In the Netherlands, the IB Group provides student grants. When you obtain just about any diploma of a three- or four-year course within ten years of starting your studies, you are aquitted of your debts with the IB Group. Should you not obtain a valid diploma within ten years, you have to pay back your student loan. I have been studying for about 6 years and by now I'm doing my third course, and I have two years to go before I'm officially a Bachelor of Translation. I am going to finish this no matter what. Not only because because I want and need this diploma to get ahead in life, but mainly because I have to pay back about € 8000 of student loans if I fail. So I have four more years to obtain my diploma, right?

Right... Only I received a letter from the IB Group saying I needed to start paying back my loan starting 1 January 2011. What?! So I replied saying I called them before I started my current course and that they told me the diploma obtained after completing this course would indeed settle my debts. But it appears I was still somewhat ignorant of the prevailing hypocritical bureaucratic ways of this country, and I didn't get this in writing. Now I cannot prove that they gave me "permission" to start this course. It taught me that you need to be able to prove everything in this wretched society, or...well...you're fucked.

Anyway, in my reply I also asked them to rescind this charge of me needing to start paying back the loan, and I gave them some other relevant information about my school and in what year I would probably obtain my diploma and all. And what do you think happens? It takes them about 2.5 months to reply and in this letter they tell me they'll see about if this diploma will aquit me from my debts and if I can please send them a certified copy.

....Huh? I just told them I had to study for two more years! And now they're asking me to send them the diploma I don't even have yet, which I told them loud and clear. In other words: it took them over 2 months to reply and they didn't even really read my letter, or they wouldn't have sent me this bogus reply.

So I replied once again, generally just expressing my indignation about their ridiculous message (I tried to be nice but it's hard when they're a bunch of lunatics in charge of your financial future) and simply repeating my initial questions. For some reason, this has to be done by mail, as if they haven't yet discovered the benefits of e-mail, which everyone but poor shepherds in countries I know hardly anything about have already found to be one hell of a step forward. So I also gave them my e-mail address again, though this will probably have been in vain.

I am curious as to how this will end. Will they send me a ridiculous letter every 2.5 months that doesn't answer any questions and doesn't help anyone, and thus take a year to resolve this? Or will it take a year without it being resolved, resulting in me having to pay back the € 8000 loan over the next ten years because at the time I didn't yet see the necessity of getting everything down in writing, signed and all, ignorant as I was of our bullshit government?

These are some expensive lessons, it would seem... Or maybe I'll get lucky.

So what is it that's happening? I'll tell you. So many rules were invented that everything needs to be proven, resulting in no one believing each other any more. And even if some employee you're dealing with believes you, this doesn't matter, because without any written proof, you're not going to get anywhere, and this employee is an irrelevant cog in the machine. But mostly it resulted in employees having to observe these rules not caring anymore. They don't give a shit what happens to the guy they're talking to on the phone, who is just a file to them, with problems that "someone else" will have to sort out (pretty obvious loop, though..). And so you get reconnected to six different departments when you call to resolve something (which will probably be about a problem they created by screwing up something or purposely robbing you by including some crazy rule in their general conditions (which no one ever reads, which they know)), costing you a fortune in telephone charges and precious time. And not resolving the issue at hand either.

Et cetera.

I could go on and on about this. But I'm afraid I have to go, because there is this one piece of paper with this one specific number on it that I need to prove something to some company, and since if I can't find it, I'll have to call them and say I lost it, and they will charge me € 13.50 in administration costs. Meaning they will have to think up a new number and give it to me.

Indeed, that is worth € 13.50.