Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts
Monday, 28 November 2011
Forever running
There are so many ways to communicate now that are not face to face. So many ways not to face your fears. It has made us weaker people.
Labels:
betrayal,
communicating,
cowardice,
fears,
hiding,
injustice,
laziness,
minimal effort,
pathetic people,
shame,
weakness
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
Why?
It is such a simple question, yet
seemingly the most difficult one of all to answer for most people: “Why?”
Maybe if people examined their
motives more carefully, and took fewer decisions they know in their heart are
utterly selfish, they wouldn't be so scared to admit the reasons for their
actions. Except when a lack of introspection
is the perpetrator, it is shame that governs the reluctance to
answer. People know they do wrong, but they shrug and do so anyway. When confronted, they run and hide. But you can't run from your own shame.
Labels:
bad motives,
betrayal,
communicating,
disappointment,
injustice,
laziness,
questions,
selfishness,
shame,
trust
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Criticism
People can't stand criticism. From friends, classmates and colleagues (peers), that is. When you're in school, you're supposed to receive criticism from your teachers, so they are 'allowed' to give it to you. Your bosses pay you to work for them so they are allowed too, although you may not like it from time to time. But your peers, who are 'no better than you', have 'no right' to criticise you, even if all they want to do is help. (In my experience, the only 'peers' who may accept criticism from you are close family members.)
People have become angry with me for providing criticism, which I have given to try and help them, and not in a way to make them feel stupid or anything. Their subsequent anger or even halt of communication with me has taught me that no matter my intentions, people just don't want to be criticised. So now I rarely criticise people, as it appears they simply can't handle it. What strikes me as odd, however, is that clients pay me to criticise them when they ask me to correct their work. When I'm done they even thank me for it. But then I am not their peer, so then it is okay. How weird is this? As if criticising peers would mean that that they are total losers and I am superior to them. No! It just means that I am better at one particular thing, or even know one particular thing that they don't - and can provide free assistance - while they will be better at other things, and can help me whenever they so desire. Consequently, any criticism to a friend or colleague must be very cautiously given, or not at all. Apparently, people generally only appreciate this assistance when they pay for it. How odd that money apparently overcomes the shame of not being as good at something as one would like...
"People only tolerate criticism from people who have authority
over them or people they pay to provide it."
People have become angry with me for providing criticism, which I have given to try and help them, and not in a way to make them feel stupid or anything. Their subsequent anger or even halt of communication with me has taught me that no matter my intentions, people just don't want to be criticised. So now I rarely criticise people, as it appears they simply can't handle it. What strikes me as odd, however, is that clients pay me to criticise them when they ask me to correct their work. When I'm done they even thank me for it. But then I am not their peer, so then it is okay. How weird is this? As if criticising peers would mean that that they are total losers and I am superior to them. No! It just means that I am better at one particular thing, or even know one particular thing that they don't - and can provide free assistance - while they will be better at other things, and can help me whenever they so desire. Consequently, any criticism to a friend or colleague must be very cautiously given, or not at all. Apparently, people generally only appreciate this assistance when they pay for it. How odd that money apparently overcomes the shame of not being as good at something as one would like...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)