When everything seems to be against me
I feel like I am bound to a post
All and sundry throwing rocks at me
And me helpless to do anything but take it
When everything seems to be against me
The repulsive fantasies begin anew
Heralding my death in a myriad of horrible ways
Becoming all I can think about
Seeking a reprieve, any kind of distraction
Proves to be in vain
The fantasies blurring my vision, dominating all
Elaborate scenarios playing out in my mind
Showing me images of myself gored and hanged
When everything seems to be against me
I feel like being forced to watch a horror movie
My eyes pried open and my head secured
Only I am the star
And am murdered in a hundred different ways
As I sit begging to lose consciousness
The thought crosses my mind again
Is the only way to make it stop
To make the fantasies come true?
Is this the only way to make the horror movie end?
I used to have such fantasies of myself too; the only way to make it stop is to get better and be happy again. You know giving into it is not the answer. Be strong.
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